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Calvin Pissing On The Competition

from Upward, Not Northward by Harvey Pekar

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lyrics

Calvin Pissing On The Competition

Logos and brand aesthetics pervade autobiographies and Christmas Eve dreams[12]. Destination-focused travelers wade through corporate art and regional kitsch. Bookshelves from IKEA catalogs - novels chosen by dust jacket color. Alma maters - medleys of radio jingles. Self-portraits - mosaics of paint swatches. Hymns of dead sitcom laughter and reality-TV mating rituals impress blind wooers with unquenchable needs and redemptive means[13]. You are contented caricatures of carnal philistines. Do not take me for an old man judging that which he has no stake in[14]. You are smarter than sameness. Do not humor the harbingers of generalities - buying souls with assembly-line identities[15]. Bring out your wax poets. Give me passion. Give me a challenge. Give me starry-eyed, long-winded late night conversations and adjectives greater than comparisons. Think of this what you may. Though I am ham-fisted and literal, I have never said words of malnutrition. I refuse to remain silent; I refuse to make noise without reason.

“The need to win the game is sort of so intrinsic, that we don’t really ever explore the full space of all the emergent properties of chess. We’re only kind of exploring these narrow branches that are possibly viable strategies. You wouldn’t be sitting there... playing your game of chess from your side and see this beautiful, tragic situation that you could act out and then act it out just because you want to... have this tragic situation emerge.” Rohrer, Jason.

[12] Mac: “Hello, I’m a Mac.” PC: “And I’m a PC.” Morrison, Phil. Get a Mac.

[13] “The television screen is the retina of the mind’s eye. Therefore the television screen is part of the physical structure of the brain. Therefore whatever appears on the television screen emerges as raw experience for those who watch it. Therefore television is reality and reality is less than television.” Videodrome.

[14] “Dear Mr. Vernon, we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. But we think you’re crazy to make us write an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us – in the simplest terms, with the most convenient definitions.” The Breakfast Club.

[15] “In the year 1908 Henry got up the courage to carry out his own idea of concentrating upon a single cheap car for the masses. One day, without any previous hint to his sales force, he announced that Models A, B, C, F, N, R, S, and K were out forever; thereafter the only Ford would be Model T. He closed the subject with his famous remark that ‘Any customer can have a car of any color he wants, provided it is black.’” Sinclair, Upton. The Flivver King.

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from Upward, Not Northward, released July 16, 2013

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Harvey Pekar Cleveland, Ohio

Harvey Pekar is:
Elliott Frank: Guitar
Ian Douglas: Drums
Nick Kratsas: Vocals
Nick Schmitt: Bass

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